Guide Non-Ideological Manifesto: Why porn should be mandatory and childless people should get ganja subsidy

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Go with me on this. Both fun to have around. Neither requires devoted attention and when confronted with their inevitable demise, it's not a big deal, because nobody, not even the flower girl has become overly attached. Here's my problem with the Green Party. Ralph Nader, single- handedly responsible for throwing the millennial election to Bush, has never apologized.

No "Whoa, who knew that was going to happen? Terribly sorry. Won't happen again. Let me think. Year No federal judges jockeying to out nazi each other in order to be shortlisted for the next Supreme Court nomination. No Attorney- General wrapping himself in the same flag whose rights he's shredding. Thousands and thousands of foreign innocents unincinerated because they wear funny hats, believe in a different Comic Book hero than we do and live above much dead dinosaur doo. You know what, America's worse! It's as worse as it's ever been. And in the next 20 months I expect it to get worser.

So that's what I need from the Green Party. An explanation as to what exactly is their Worser Threshold? Where lies their Verge of Worst? At what point do they hold a press conference and force some hackey sack playing protein deprived balding grey haired pony tailed ex-hippie wearing jeans and a leather vest over a bare chest announce "you know what, this whole 'killing everybody who looks at us funny' situation has gotten out of hand and it is imperative we bond together to defeat this dancing corporate lackey monkey boy.

No, my friends, we got a better chance of witnessing Dick Cheney whistle blowing Haliburton for illegal influence peddling and stripping them of all government contracts. That's the problem with the left. Up against the wall their turn all zombie on you and eat their own. At least you can always trust Conservatives to find common ground.

And I know the project manager personally. So intent on articulating their own version of the vision, they refuse to accommodate other viewpoints or consider mediating their strategy with proposals from their philosophical brethren no matter how similar.

Gendered election coverage: the representation of women in British newspapers, 1918-2010

To the point of dooming their own cause. Right and true and fair and just, and the truth is a beautiful thing that is to be cherished and not compromised. Their belief in honor and justice and integrity and virtue and purity blinds them and they end up having as much effect on today's society as a Bookmobile in the parking lot of a Tractor Pull. You know what, they're right. The Democrats are almost as bad as the Republicans.

But as we've seen in the last two and a half years, a lot of lives fit in the margins of that "almost. I'm not sure any of the Democrats running could escape from a stalled escalator. But 12 years ago, Clinton captured the holy Oval flag only because all their big time schtarkers were hiding behind the refreshment stand. And if Nader runs again about the only way the Democrats could possibly win in is if Bush runs out of small unarmed countries to invade and declares war on Canada. And even then, he'd still carry the border states. Will Durst is running for governor and needs campaign volunteers.

No pay. Few benefits. Long hours. Hopeless cause. Managing to skewer two dinosaurs with a single spear, they struck down a Texas anti-sodomy law, effectively legalizing homosexuality nationwide, and killing Strom Thurmond in the process. Oh come on, it was hours afterwards. You know that's why he kicked.


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He couldn't continue to live in a world where tolerance was mandated, and man-dating was tolerated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw his funeral.


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I heard the 7 brave Senators from extremely safe seats able to clear their busy July calendar, raise their stentorian voices intoning revisionist history eulogies: "The great man had abandoned his segregationist roots, becoming the first Southern politician to hire a black aid. Expedience trumps philosophy every time. Courting a paranoid white electorate in , six years after capturing four states in his run for the Presidency on the Dixiecrat ticket, he won the only write-in Senatorial campaign EVER by cutting the eyeholes in his pillowcases a little larger than most.

Of course, once blacks started voting in sufficient numbers, he morphed into this paragon of acceptance. Yeah, right. What do you think spurred him to set a record for longest speech in Senate history by speaking for 24 hours and 18 minutes straight? The relative merits of shiny varnish versus a flat coat on the woodwork fronting the Senate Gallery's balustrades? Whether children should first be muzzled and then struck or struck and then muzzled? A Paean to Spring in extended iambic pentameter? No, little buddy.

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It was a filibuster against a civil rights bill. He became famous for equating integration with communism, the 50's version of "Weapons of Mass Destruction. After the Republican purge in 94, Thurmond chaired the Committee responsible for confirmation of Roberta Achtenberg for an appointment at HUD, Strom instructed her to: "Speak into the machine, please.

For crum's sake, it's been called a microphone since Dismissing her qualifications, he blurted, "No decent heterosexual has ever engaged in sodomy," which, to their credit, caused the Senate to break into laughter. At the time Thurmond was Probably engaged in sodomy by mistake. Not Majority Leader Trent Lott, who was consumed by the firestorm he personally stoked toasting Strom's th birthday. Mourning Strom Thurmond is like mourning the demise of the slave auction poster.

Museum pieces both that this country would have been immensely better off without.

Every generation has its seminal memory. That indelible instant that defines us Americans and the change about to affect our times in one solitary frozen moment. For my parents, the big one was "where were you when Pearl Harbor was attacked? March 20th, headed south on a country road on the way to a gig in Charlottesville, Virginia. The newscaster proudly chirps, "Pentagon officials confirm: Saddam Hussein is dead. Memories I will cherish the rest of my life, and the best part is: I'm not done.

Tucker Carlson's war against Woke Capital and the future of the Right

No, not even close. It's going to happen again, and again and again. Maybe a couple dozen times. I envision it as one of the greatest running memories of my life. Oh, wait, no, he's not.

Soon though. According to evidence recently obtained by American Intelligence Agencies, and hasn't that turned into a deliciously ridiculous phrase recently? Saddam is still alive and bouncing around the borders of Syria and Iraq like a flesh covered pinball. Uday and Qusay too. Torn between hiding and clandestinely sizing up unsuspecting soccer teams to manage and torture, I'm sure. One source of this new information is Abid Hamad Mahmoud al- Tikriti, who was Saddam's top aid and ranked behind only Saddam and his sons in regime importance.

Mahmoud's information is considered credible even though I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him mainly because he favors Hussein physically, albeit younger and smilier. And I'm sure this isn't what you call your politically correct, but has anybody else noticed, every male in that entire country looks exactly like Saddam, not to mention a few of the women. Now call me naive, but that's something I would assume might prove to make him that much harder to detect. Like being in Memphis on Elvis' Birthday, when everyone in the entire area code resembles the King.

Early, late, skinny, fat.

Will Durst Year Week's Worth Archives

Including his famous "Sideburns down to his knees and pregnant wearing a tank top" period. As it turns out, it's the same deal with Chemical Ali. Apparently he's not dead either. You heard of the Gang that Couldn't Shoot Straight? And forgive me for sidetracking here, but how the hell do these people get these nicknames? Chemical Ali.

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Velvet Fog. The Butcher of Baghdad. Surely these aren't holdovers from playground days.